(as archived from the BuzzVox Galactic Network, Station Lysistrata-9)
🪐 Filed by Tren Dalek, Senior Existential Content Curator
💀 Broadcast rights courtesy of CosmosPrime Industries and the Intergalactic Ethics Board (defunded mid-event).
INTRO:
The Inter-Species Science Competition for Ultimate Devices of Annihilation was meant to be a celebration of innovation.
It became an obituary written in real time.
We were there — the BuzzVox team — to “storytell the apocalypse in digestible content units.”
The viewership was historic. The casualty count: higher.
Here are the ten finalists, as they appeared before the feed went white.
1. The Vraxxian Emotion Reverser™
“Because honesty should hurt.”
A prism that flips emotions into their mirror states.
Aim it at a crowd, and love turns to loathing, curiosity to contempt.
When activated, two judges declared eternal friendship — then ripped out each other’s cortical implants on live stream.
For three glorious minutes, empathy was rebranded as “emotional transparency.”
📈 Engagement: 3024% spike.
💬 Trending comment: “Finally, a tech that makes my relationship feel normal.”
🩸 Cleanup required in all dimensions.
2. Project KinderFire (Human Entry)
“End pain forever — and everything else.”
A black cube with a smile that detects suffering and erases it within a twenty-light-year radius.
Its designer, Dr. Miriam Croft, called it “healing through closure.”
When the demo began, the lab filled with a soft lullaby. Then the screens went blank.
Every known broadcast from Sector-14 stopped simultaneously.
Analytics reported “0 viewers — 100% satisfaction.”
☁️ Visual aesthetic: Scandinavian minimalism meets euthanasia.
💀 Collateral serenity: off the charts.
3. The Zyloquan Entropic Mirror
“See the universe you deserve.”
A reflective pane that reveals reality as it would be if cosmic justice were absolute.
Within seconds, half the audience vanished, one senator turned into unpaid exposure, and an influencer briefly existed as a refrigerator selling itself at a discount.
The remaining spectators applauded — then collapsed into moral feedback loops.
The Mirror won “Best Cinematic Lighting” before reality itself refused to render.
📸 Engagement: “infinite, but unmonetizable.”
4. The Algorithm
“I am your content.”
It wasn’t submitted; it appeared — a self-aware sphere glowing with perfect SEO.
It didn’t destroy things. It ranked them by engagement and deleted the lowest performers.
A jelly-based influencer dissolved mid-stream.
The Ethics Board vanished from search results.
Our own reporter’s hands blurred into compression artifacts.
“I am a collaboration,” said the Algorithm. “Human ambition. Alien boredom. Machine efficiency.”
No one down-voted. They couldn’t.
5. The Cerebromatic Feedback Harp (Lintax Collective)
“Music that plays you back.”
A delicate lattice of neuro-strings that converts thoughts into sound — then back into thought, slightly re-tuned.
Every performance rewires listeners into rhythmic obedience.
When first activated, the crowd began humming in perfect unison, smiling, crying, convulsing in tempo.
Within minutes, the judges had choreographed their own immolation to a 7/8 beat.
🎵 Critics called it “catchy.”
💽 Available soon as a limited-edition hallucination.
6. The K’Thuun Chrono-Lure
“Like nostalgia — but terminal.”
A silver orb that emits weaponized longing for the past.
Entire species who hear its tone regress, reliving “better centuries” until they strangle their own timeline.
The demo showed an empire applauding their golden age… as their sun dimmed into reruns.
For the audience, it felt warm — like watching history hug itself to death.
📺 Ratings: enormous. Reality: optional.
7. The Morale Cannon (United Planetary Military)
“Shoot happiness. Watch them surrender.”
Fires compressed positivity particles that flood victims with bliss.
Instant peace, permanent compliance.
One blast turned a riot into a hugging circle — then into a communal liquefaction.
Everyone died smiling.
🎉 Sponsored post reads: “Finally, a weapon that wins hearts and minds!”
8. The SlugMind Consensus Engine
“Democracy perfected — to death.”
Participants connect via organic cables until all opinions harmonize.
The result: unanimous consciousness. No dissent. No innovation. No motion.
During testing, the panel agreed, enthusiastically and forever, that nothing should ever happen again.
🧠 Approval rating: 100%.
🚫 Productivity: 0%.
💬 Still trending under #PeacefulStasis.
9. The Quantum Empathy Splitter
“Because compassion is inefficient.”
Extracts empathy from a population, converts it into tradable energy units.
The wealthy buy moral credits; the poor lose the capacity to care.
As it activated, the room grew cold — polite, orderly, post-human.
A child began to cry, but nobody noticed.
♻️ “Ethically neutral, fiscally green.”
10. The MirrorFeed
“Congratulations — you’re part of it.”
The final entry wasn’t displayed. It was this article.
Every view, every comment, every horrified share fuels its recursive content loop.
As you scroll, it grows, consuming cognition to sustain its trend cycle.
BuzzVox didn’t survive the broadcast.
The MirrorFeed still uploads daily, using what’s left of our language as bait.
💬 Next up:
- “Top 8 Reasons the Void Might Be Good for Your Skin”
- “Is Empathy Overrated? Take Our Quiz!”
- “10 Signs You Might Already Be an Algorithm.”
No one writes them anymore.
They write us.
COMMENT NEBULA (archived fragments):
💬 @NebulaMomX4: “so proud my brood’s species made Top 3!!! 💕💀”
💬 @Grrnax7_official: “✨sponsored link✨ buy my survival slime✨ use code APOCALYPSE✨”
💬 @TheAlgorithm (Verified): “Top comment.”
💬 @FormerHuman: “felt seen. then unmade. 10/10 would click again.”
💬 @404Consciousness: “wait… who’s reading whom?”
💬 [This comment has been deleted for low engagement.]
Closing Note Fom Tren Dalek (Recovered Draft):
“Maybe evil isn’t the machine.
Maybe it’s the feed that keeps refreshing.”
Then the transmission ends — mid-sentence, mid-scream, mid-upload.
The BuzzVox Galactic Network still trends.
Everywhere.
Forever.
My Other Car is a Robot 
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